Wednesday, October 27, 2010


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My daughter - Hayley - enjoying the moment

Often, The Daily Om provides me with uncanny 'hit the nail on the head' thoughts to consider, by happenstance.

Today before sitting down to read the below excerpt, I had been trying to juggle several priorities....household, appointments, work appointments, creative time, email. I had asked myself, how had I managed when I worked 70 hours per week and raised my two children alone ninety percent of the time?

 Even though a day never goes by without at some point feeling grateful for the luxury of independence and choice of how to spend much of my day, I still occasionally feel overwhelmed with too many competing 'to do' items.

"Occasionally" happened today. I know from my past, I am no longer the perfectionist I was in my twenties. That was something I had to come to terms with after I gave birth to my firstborn 7 weeks early and her survival was in question. Nothing else mattered and all of the 'items' that seemed to take up so much of my energy and time became trivial and meaningless.

 I also remember the day when I realized that I had to adjust my priorities and that a spotless home was downgraded to 'a tidy home'. And raising my daughters without their father when he left his responsibilities as a parent and  moved to a different province,  took first place on this list. I had to be Mom and Dad for them as best as I could.

Two years ago, Hayley was hospitalized for several months  with a very serious and life-threatening illness.  She spent her 21st birthday in hospital.   Life again, provided me with that 'wake up call' - don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff when someone you love is hurting or their life is 'at risk'.  Even as I type this tears again starting falling down my cheeks.  I know many of you reading this have had tragedies far worse in your lives.  Thankfully, Hayley as you can see above is healthy again, 23 now and is achieving her dreams at school and in her personal life.  Those endless days of worry and fear of her future are in the past and yet, they'll never stop serving as a reminder to me of how precious and fragile life is.   And again, that never ending  to do list is reduced  to merely
                                                                              in the

 Life As It Is - The Daily OM
 Making Life Work for You

 At the end of the day, we must come to terms with changing what we can and accepting what we cannot change.

Sometimes we have so many varying responsibilities in our lives, ranging from work obligations to caring for children to running a household, we feel we cannot possibly make it all work.

We may feel overwhelmed in the face of it all, ending each day feeling hopelessly behind schedule. However, regardless of how frustrating this can be, these are the parameters that make up our lives, and we owe it to ourselves to find a way to make it work.

 Rather than buckling under the pressure of an impossible to-do list, we might take a moment to view the larger perspective. Like the president of a large organization, we must first realize that we cannot do every job ourselves. The first step to sanity is learning how to delegate some of the responsibility to other people, whether by paying someone to clean our house or trading childcare duties with another parent.

 In addition, we might find places where we can shift our expectations in ways that make our lives easier.

 For example, expecting ourselves to create a healthy home-cooked meal every night after a full day of work, errands, or caring for an infant or toddler may be a bit excessive.

We might allow ourselves to order in food once in a while without any guilt.

Accepting the adjustments needed to make our lives work is an essential ingredient to being at peace with our situation.

 At the end of the day, we must come to terms with changing what we can and accepting what we cannot change.

 Sometimes the laundry piles up, a sick child demands more of our attention than usual, and we temporarily get behind with our schedule.

 Accepting this momentary state of affairs and trusting in our ability to get back on track when the time is right, we gracefully accept our life as it is, letting go of perfectionism and embracing life as it stands.

I hope you will

                                                     and spend some time                                                        

                                                                               i n  t h e                       

                                                                                                 P R E S E N T   M O M E N T.


Lenna Young Andrews said...

right on, trudi. you've got it! great words. thanks for the gentle reminder to accept ourselves as is right now and be okay with it. That doesn't mean not to dream or scheme . . . but to say, this is just fine! xo lenna

sugar Creek said...

I love this post. So glad your daughter is healthy and well again. These are things I need to remind myself as well. When I need a day out, I always say my housework will be there when I get back, it won't go anywhere! Great post! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Lisa said...

truthful and thought provoking words from the daily OM.
I'm glad your daughter is better now is full of tragedies but there can be nothing worse than having a sick child.

Terri Kahrs said...

Your daughter is beautiful, Trudi. I'm so happy to hear that she's healthy and happy. I, too, was touched by today's OM. In my "younger days" I was quite the perfectionist, always wanting to cling to "control". With age comes wisdom (as they say), and I've learned not to sweat the small things quite so much. Thank you for this beautiful post. Hugs & Love, Terri xoxox

Healing Woman said...

Thank you for reminding me! what a beautiful post.

Sharon said...

Thank you for the reminder to be gentle with ourselves and to enjoy what is truly important in our lives.

Anji Johnston said...

A wonderfully reflective post Trudi - thank you. Since my sister and nephew passed away a year ago in November, my life has taken a 'turn'. As much as I grieve daily, I am thankful that this tragic event made me slow down and smell the roses so to speak. Our lives are so fragile and need to be nurtured daily. I sometimes feel selfish and self serving when I take time out for me but in hindsight if I didn't - I would not be the person I want to be.
Live the life your in!
Take care and thank you again A

La Dolce Vita said...

glad to know your daughter is well and that you know what your priorities are! the small stuff will always be small, we cannot ever afford to let it bully us ... eh? xo

Missouri Bend Paper Works said...

Thank you for this wonderful, heartfelt post...the reminder we all need each day! Best wishes!

Lorraine @ creativedaily said...

A very thought provoking post! Hayley looks happy and healthy in this lovely photo. Changing what we can and accepting what we cannot change - oh so true!

Kim Palmer said...

Never a truer word Trudi. We must learn to let go of the trivial and remember what is really important. So pleased to hear your daughter is well and enjoying her life. What a frightening time it must have been for you then.

Michele said...

It's good to hear that she is happy and well. She is fortunate to have such a wonderful Mom.